a dash of nutmag!

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(:

He who has ears, let him hear.

Jesus is still on the throne!! Yes, He IS, and ALWAYS will be!

We often forget that, don’t we? Or maybe we DO know that, but the reality of that matter never seems to strike us?

I don’t know about you, but when I’m so filled with distractions, so confused, so troubled, so helpless… I often just shrivel up in one corner and go, "Aargh, God, Aargh!" Now I am thinking - why exactly do I go "aargh" and not anything else… like "why"?

Ok.. haha. Not literally "in one corner", but I’ll isolate myself for… maybe a whole day, half a day walking about random, quaint, Chinatown-ish places trying to sort things out in my head, trying to listen.  

After that, the problem NEVER disappears; it just doesn’t! More importantly, something else changes. My mindset changes - and that’s more than enough for me!  

These days, I’ve given up asking, "Why, God, why?" (Hence "Aargh" instead :p) I mean, WHO are we to question that? Plus, as if we’ll get an answer there and then right! I’d say, you’ll probably realise the answer only one/ten/twenty years down the road, on hindsight - for me at least.  Then I realise "whoaa.. God had it all planned.. He’s good."

Wait a minute. Why wait till so long after and realise that He’s good?! — Know that He IS good, ALWAYS, forever! Declare that EVERY waking moment, yeah? Even in your darkest hour, declare that! Jesus is still on the throne, He has always been.

Worthy is the Lamb…
Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord,
who was, and who is,
and who is to come!

So, why do I go "aargh" again? (Pardon my messy thoughts :s hee..) I think it’s because I’m frustrated at myself for not being able to recognise God’s sovereignty in my difficult situation. It’s not even me trying to figure out "why" what’s the purpose of it all. Rather, I get frustrated that I let myself … be frustrated… Ok, starting to not make sense.. but yeah. hahah! Aargh!

Today is such a day, there’s so much on my heart, my mind. Maybe it’s true for you too. But for you, and for me, let us lift our eyes towards the Cross. He promises that there is purpose in that circumstance. His will and purpose will triumph in that circumstance. In your darkest hour, let praise be found on your lips. Jesus is still on the throne. Yes He is, and always will be.

You might’ve been at the BGR Forum (Sunday 10.10.10) if you’re in Wesley Youth Ministry. (Zhou, Kheng were the other 2 ‘panel’ members, as Jo & Kong moderated the forum.)

As the only female + single on the panel, I had no choice, I was arrowed to share briefly my personal experience on singlehood to a group of 15-18 year olds. Yikes. Nervousness crept in - as if I know better right? -.- Haha, but anyway, it turned out good - at least I hope!

I scripted my sharing, read off nervously from my BB. (Hm yup, I’m not tt eloquent! :s) And after a week, I’m thinking, maybe, just maybe, some others might want to hear these words.

First, I’m sorry that my sharing seemed to be directed more at females! Haha, but, I am female, and my heart goes out to fellow gals! :D HAHA! I run the risk of people dismissing this as an angsty post, BUT it’s really ok! :D here my script goes, mostly raw & unedited, as spoken on Sunday:

I know the issue most of you here face is: Everyone around me is getting attached, why am I not attached? I wished I could be!

That’s completely normal - I often wonder too, unfortunately! But allow me share with you some thoughts of mine on this matter. BUT, I *really* hope I don’t sound angsty! :s Haha. Forgive me if I do!

These years of singlehood made a difference in the time I could spend serving here in YM. In fact, the last couple of years, it was a *conscious* decision for me to remain single because of several factors. Ps. I’m not saying I was very ‘eligible’. Not that a million dudes came after me, and I rejected them all!! No, not true! :| Haha! Rather, I CHOSE not to consume myself with thoughts of getting attached. So it was a CONSCIOUS DECISION.

My reasons for staying so: Being single meant greater flexibility and focus to serve in ministry - I was able to be in church several times a week, do all that needed to be done in Philotheos. Again, I don’t mean to sound angsty! Doesn’t mean that I you’re attached then you can’t serve - these two dudes sitting beside me are attached, but are serving loads! Also, I don’t mean everyone has to serve in the same capacity. But my point really is: THINKING about getting attached all the time DESTROYS me… ROBS me of joy… So it’s a CHOICE not to be CONSUMED by those thoughts.

Instead of thinking about it, why not think about HOW I can become more virtuous as a woman now? Think about how you can better glorify God now? That is our utmost calling as Christians right? To worship Him, glorify Him in all things, at all times! (:

Okay… it’s easy to rationalise these things in my mind - it’s head knowledge, yeh, I know. And of course, there were (and will be) distracting thoughts, and I DO get distracted at times. I mean, over the years, I’ve liked several guys - class-mates, church-mates, whatever-else-mates, randome people… I do struggle, like you! BUT it’s always a matter of REMINDING myself constantly! Again, a conscious reminder!

What’s this reminder? Well, now while I am single, I WANT to make full use of the time & energy I have - these resources are God-given PRIVILEGES I’ll probably never ever have again once I have a partner, or am married. This is a special season in life, which will never appear again, if you think about it that way! Yeh!

Oh yes, I also really want to share this thought you all, especially the girls!! Singleness is NOT a time of WAITING - it’s not as if you gals are sitting on a display shelf, waiting for a knight in shining armour to come purchase you! :p NO! For me, now is not a time for waiting - now is the time for PREPARATION. So that I can be the best I can be for the future Mr. X, or Y, or Z! Now is the time to GROW in Godliness, virtue, character… Now is the time to prepare yourself to be a better wife, girlfriend, or whatever you want to call that role…

Lastly, I really really want to share this quote a friend tweeted some time back.

"A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." - Maya Angelon

Yeh, that’s all I really have to share for now, hope it spoke to those of you here who may struggle and wonder "why am I not attached?". :D It’s completely normal, but temember, there’s so much more you could do with your life now, than consume yourself with these thoughts. Seek first His Kingdom.

(Q&A Excerpt)

Q: What do you think of getting into relationships to gain ‘experience’?

Mag: If any one ever tells you that, you could seriously just slap him/her! The world tells you to live first, then learn. That’s nonsense!!!!!!!@@##$ Why not learn first. then live! Why learn from mistakes, when there’s so much to learn from the bible, godly counsel, people who’ve gone before you? So silly right? (Pardon my enthusiasm here! Hahah.)

Q: What’s the purpose of getting into relationships?

Mag: First ask, what’s your purpose in life? I constantly ask myself that question. It’s as simple as this: my purpose is first to glorify God, forever worship Him, and enjoy doing so always! Let it be so for you!

Zhou: Master > Mission > Mate. Know your Master first, find out your life’s purpose, and THEN bother about finding a mate. Both of you would then work in partnership to fulfill that God-given mission.

Afterword: Deciding to be on this panel was difficult. Much procrastination involved, I’d say! Didn’t feel like I had much personal experiences to share, or had wanted to share - if you know me at all, I think I’m an intensely private person! :s I’m really not a great example of single Christian woman. There’s lots I struggled with, and still do. But since Jo wanted a female, and a single on the panel… There I was! :s

(Plus, I apologise for the lack of personal stories that some of you were looking forward to… :p haha..) On hindsight though, I think I should count it my privilege that I could share with you all! (: Not because I think my thoughts are great, but these are just deep personal convictions built over continuous reflection opportunities. Mm, yeah (:

The issue is NOT EVEN that dating is wrong at the age of 15. The issue is: what are you choosing to do with your life now? I think too many of us let singleness rob us of the joy we can have, and so deserve in Christ Jesus! Take heart, you are worth so much more than what any man count you to be! ",

Fasting for the coming of the King is a measure of our contentedness of the state of the world

~John Piper

The preeminent petitions of the Lord’s Prayer are: Lord, let your name be hallowed, and, Lord, let your kingdom come. So Christian fasting is a fasting not just for immediate breakthroughs of faith and healing and righteousness, but also for the ultimate breakthrough—of the King’s return in glory: "Thy kingdom come!" Or as the early church prayed it: "Maranatha!" = "Our Lord, come!"

The church of Christ is called to put the earnestness of fasting behind prayer, "Thy kingdom come." "Bridegroom, come!" Fasting is a physical expression of heart hunger for the second coming of Jesus.

Fasting for the King’s Coming

Are we settled into the world so comfortably that the thought of fasting for the end of history, is almost unthinkable?